Kindle Augusten Burroughs ✓ Toil Trouble ePUB ¶ ✓

From the number one New York Times bestselling author comes another stunning memoir that is tender touchingand just a little spooky Here’s a partial list of things I don’t believe in God The Devil Heaven Hell Bigfoot Ancient Aliens Past lives Life after death Vampires Zombies Reiki Homeopathy Rolfing Reflexology Note that 'witches' and 'witchcraft' are absent from this list The thing is I wouldn’t believe in them and I would privately ridicule any idiot who did except for one thing I am a witchFor as long as Augusten Burroughs could remember he knew things he shouldn't have known He manifested things that shouldn't have come to pass And he told exactly no one about this save one person his mother His mother reassured him that it was all perfectly normal that he was descended from a long line of witches going back to the days of the early American colonies And that this family tree was filled with witches It was a bond that he and his mother shared until the day she left him in the care of her psychiatrist to be raised in his family but that's a whole other story After that Augusten was on his own On his own to navigate the world of this tricky power; on his own to either use or misuse this giftFrom the hilarious to the terrifying Toil Trouble is a chronicle of one man's journey to understand himself to reconcile the powers he can wield with things with which he is helpless There are very few things that are coincidences as you will learn in Toil Trouble Ghosts are real trees can want to kill you beavers are the spawn of Satan houses are alive and in the end love is the most powerful magic of all


10 thoughts on “Toil Trouble

  1. says:

    It’s pretty impressive that one person can write so many memoirs In this one he reveals that he’s a witch from a long line of witches He’s otherwise a nonbeliever of ghosts God zombies Bigfoot and so on He explains that being a witch isn’t supernatural it’s natural For him it’s about seeing things just before they happen across the country sometimes and setting intentions—in his case he creates rhyming spells to create something he wants to attain or avoid Dubious? Yeah me too although his tales are provocative He’s such a good writer that after I finished and had started reading another book I found myself wondering what was going on with Augusten his husband Christopher their four dogs and the intriguing characters they’ve met since moving from Manhattan to the Connecticut countryside Many years ago my publisher asked me to write a novella for an anthology that featured a witch I thought I should study up on Wiccan because I thought that’s what a witch was I was way off according to Mr Burroughs I learned a lot about witches in this book which is a subject I find fascinating primarily because uppity women were drowned or burned on a pyre under the guise that they were witches and uppity women are my people The very little I studied on Wiccan it seemed like nice stuff not that far off from what I understand from books and movies are some of the rituals of Catholicism with lighting candles and instead of saying prayers saying kind of incantations—things to do to attract love and financial stability or to banish a bad experience I think setting intentions is great What I learned in Toil and Trouble however is that Wiccan is something a guy in England came up with in the 1950s What Augusten is talking about is uite different and I found it extremely interesting This book has some chuckles although it’s not as funny as some of his earlier works I enjoyed it and I appreciate the opportunity for an advance copy from NetGalley and St Martin’s Press The RELEASE DATE IS OCTOBER 1 2019 For reviews please visit


  2. says:

    Witchy Wonderful “There are three things you should know about witches 1 “As long as there have been human beings there have been witch beings”2 “Witches have always been misunderstood”3 “Witches are real” “Witchcraft is not a religion It’s the craftwork of a witch;it’s the thing witches do” “Witches can possess any and all of these traits in greater or less or degree”Augusten shared a partial list of things he doesn’t believe inGod The devil heaven hell Bigfoot ancient aliens past lives life after death vampires zombies Reiki homeopathy rolfing reflexology”“Note that ‘witches’ and ‘witchcraft’ are absent from the list” Augusten says“The thing is I wouldn’t believe in them and I would privately ridicule any idiot who did except for one thing” NEWS FLASHAugusten Burroughs is a witch YEP Augusten is not joking But he ‘is extremely funny We know many things about Augusten Burroughs from past books novels and memoirsHe isoutrageously funnyself awarewisehonestgay entertaininginspiringingenioushad a past disaster personal liferaised in a very dysfunctional homesuffered from alcohol addiction for many yearsovercame harrowing challengeshe is smartrealpersonablehonestbrilliant and lovableetc etc etcI feel like I’ve been growing up ‘with’ himBut this is his first memoir where we learn about his uniue spooky magical abilities with fabulous interesting coming of age stories WITCHIE TALENTED Augusten outdid himself with this memoirIt’s awesome with tasteful humor and tasteful truth “Toil and Trouble” the title of this book comes fromShakespeare“Double double toil and trouble fire burn and cauldron bubble” is one of the most famous lines in English literature These lines are spoken in unison by three witches who predict Macbeth’s future throughout “Ghosts are real trees can want to kill you beavers are the spawn of satan houses are alive and in the end love is the most powerful magic of all” This new Burroughs memoir was fascinating exciting to read uirky genuine and it completely warmed my heartBig thanks to St Martins Publishing 📚✍️📚Netgalley 👀and Augusten Burroughs🥳I LOVE THIS NEW BOOKBurroughs’ rocks my book reading thinkingfeeling world


  3. says:

    Thank you Netgslley More later Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾


  4. says:

    Many thanks to Jessica at St Martins Press for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest reviewThis book was one of my least favorites of 2019 See the rest on my video The WORST Books of 2019 ☕☕ ”Double double toil and trouble;Fire burn and caldron bubbleFillet of a fenny snakeIn the caldron boil and bake;Eye of newt and toe of frogWool of bat and tongue of dogAdder's fork and blind worm's stingLizard's leg and howlet's wingFor a charm of powerful troubleLike a hell broth boil and bubble Double double toil and trouble;Fire burn and caldron bubbleCool it with a baboon's bloodThen the charm is firm and good“ William Shakespeare Macbeth All the magic in the world couldn't salvage make me like this book It may not seem like it because I am going to be dragging Toil and Trouble in this review but I really am sad that this book turned out the way it did Augusten Burroughs seems like such a genuine and fun person to be around and I will forever be in love with this cover But even a pretty cover can't save a train wreck Let me start by saying that I do believe in magic In this world it would be impossible to accurately say that magic or anything supernatural for that matter isn't real I mean take human life for example The way human bodies work so intricately every tiny gear turning at the right time couldn't be an accident Whether it be God magic or something else there is without a doubt something out there that is much bigger than us I personally am a Christian I believe in God Jesus Satan Heaven Hell etc etc Blah blah blah You guys know this sht But I also believe in magic I mean there is Satanism but I also think God gives certain people supernatural abilities My mom's friend's neighbor is what I like to call A Christian Psychic Basically she prays and then she gets answers and prayer reuests from God Even though I'm a Christian I was skeptical but then ya know she told my mom things about me that she didn't know and hadn't been told so that's fun Oh have I ever told you that when I was baby a Christian psychic told my parents that like an arrow he will shoot farther than you So basically what she was it a she? i don't know said that I'm better than my parentsAnywho magic is real but Augusten Burroughs does not have it I really want to make it clear that I'm not denying the rest of his story and I would never ever want to tell someone that their voice and their story were not valid My heart breaks for Augusten and the rough childhood he had to endure and I am so happy that he has come so far from it That said I simply can't believe that Augusten is a witch Every bit of 'magic' he mentioned in this book can be chalked up to coincidence or explained by science There may be some reading this review thinking to themselves Oh you silly skeptic You're so adorable and they'd be right I am adorable but I am not a skeptic I believe in the supernatural but I do not believe that any of the events described in this book were supernatural For example Augusten and his husband Chris his name is Chris right? live in the woodsish and are having chipmunk troubles It is getting annoying so Augusten decides to cast a spell to summon an owl to eat the chipmunks trigger warning for chipmunk murder and the next day Augusten spots an owl and believes it's because he cast the spell NO BTCH IT'S BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN THE WOODS Another example was when he cast a spell on a bully to turn him into a frog The spell did not work but a few months maybe longer? I don't remember because I've been trying to repress this mess out of my mind later the bully develops precocious puberty” a real thing apparently Augusten believes this is because of him The final example I want to bring up isn't really specific but a general happening Many times Augusten described premonitions that came true Here's the thing The average person has thousands and thousands of thoughts every day The chances of one of them happening are not exactly astronomical I personally have had premonitions that have come true For instance I was sitting in class the other day and thought I wonder if I will get called down to the office and boom The office called up to my classroom and I went down Magic? No I must confess that for a day or two I did try the things he described in these pages because how could I not? I wouldn't be a good scientist if I didn't experiment Finally I want to discuss a very important point but first I want to say that I am not at all trying to minimize mental illness trauma or anything like that I actually considered not talking about this to avoid sounding cruel but I feel that it is an important point Augusten mentioned multiple times that mental illness runs in the family I felt as though Augusten's mother subconsciously used magic as a coping skill for her mental instability Oh that sounds so awful and I hate to say it because it sounds like I'm saying She's crazy and that's why she thinks she's a witch And even though that is the basic thought I had I am not at all minimizing coping skills and mental illness Once again I truly feel for Augusten and his family and I value the voices of those who deal with trauma and mental illness And finally I want to address the author directly on the very low chance that he ever reads this review Augusten I am not trying to say that you are crazy or wrong You are always entitled to your opinion and beliefs I am so glad you have been able to find comfort in this I am so immensely happy and proud that you have been able to have a successful career and a happy life in spite of the rough childhood you dealt with I may not believe a word you said in this book but that doesn't mean none of it was untrue I really would love to be proven wrong and see that you are a witch because that would be so cool Lastly my low rating does not reflect how I feel about you as a person or your writing skills I think you are a very skilled super funny writer and I would love to meet you in real life some day All my loveTucker Bottom Line15 StarsAge Rating R Content Screening Spoilers Educational Value 00 None Positive Messages 25 Independence resilience Violence 15 Brief descriptions of homophobic violence Sex 00 None Langauge 35 Fk dck btch asshole dmn sht DrinkingDrugs 45 Alcohol Nyuil Other Medicinal Drugs Trigger and Content Warning Loss of a loved one Homophobia PTSD AnxietyReps Gay PTSDCover 55 Characters Plot Audio 45 Publication DatePublisher St Martins PressGenre MemoirNonfictionBlurb “eh” PS Sorry Jessica 15 stars yikes that was awful this cover is beyond stunning also i didn't know that Augusten was gay so cool i love supporting my fellow lgbtiaap writers| Goodreads | Blog | Pinterest | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram


  5. says:

    35 StarsMy love of biographies drew me to this offering from Augusten Burroughs not the name he was born with but one he fashioned for himself He is a gay writer who formerly worked in marketing who has been married to his literary agent Christopher for a couple of decades Oh and he's a witch There are actually a lot of witches in his family primarily his mother and grandmother and his Uncle Mercer who constantly fights against the notion of being one As the book begins Augusten relates the story of being a pre teen child riding along on his school bus and having a clear sudden premonition that something bad happened to his grandmother He jolted from the bus on a tear to ask his mother about it It was then that she had the heart to heart about Augusten's gift and the legacy of it running in the family Augusten clarifies the realities of what a witch can do and how the gift actually operates in contrast to what one might surmise from a campy witch movie He had a rough time during his childhood being treated like an outcast He had a penchant for dressing a lot differently than the other kids in perhaps what would be considered a garishflamboyant fashion He also didn't get very far in school but through sheer talent and gumption became successful in the marketing field He also literally willed himself to succeed in writing and you could call it a kind of magic that he did My favorite part of the book was when he convinced his husband to move from New York City where Christopher had an apartment for decades to an old secluded house in Connecticut with lots of land around it This new environment was fodder for many interesting stories involving an eccentric neighbor a huge ancient maple tree supernatural events with paintings etc One unfortunate faux pas I encountered were some political slams something that's been cropping up in a lot of autobiographies lately Congratulations on isolating half of your audience Otherwise the writing uality was very good and inflected with humorThank you to the publisher St Martin's Press for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley


  6. says:

    I call BS but still am bewitchedRun run run This madman swears he’s a witch and I swear it’s BS Yet here I sit suirmy happy because the guy has me in the palm of his sweaty little witch hand This writer of Running with Scissors fame has done it again in his latest funny and endearing memoirI had my doubts Right from the very beginning Burroughs starts with the witch business Look at me look at me I’m a witch—like a little kid running around on a broom giggling away I didn’t want to hear this weirdo claim; it made me uncomfortable as all get out I wanted him to talk normal knock it off My instant reaction was that it was cheesy and gimmicky and juvenile Besides I have a strict witch rule they’re only allowed to exist in kids’ books Period Yetyethere I go along on his wild ride I used to not believe any woo woo stuff but in the last five years or so I’ve seen and experienced so so many coincidences I now believe that something deliciously weird and funny is going on in the universe However I do not believe anyone has the power to make things happen including the charming Mr Burroughs Cut the witch crapSo here’s the scoop Burroughs does talk about lots of amazing coincidences and they drew me in and appealed to my embarrassing though thankfully limited woo woo tendencies Yet damn every time he summed up a story he claimed credit for the coincidence Since this writer can basically do no wrong I just said to myself “Well dear Augusten believes this so it’s okay It’s just the way his art goes It doesn’t keep me from loving his brilliant writing I’ll just look the other way when he goes all witchy on me”And I even kept my cool as he gave a little lecture on the history of witches early on as well as when he went totally over the top woo woo at the end Because this guy can write He makes me laugh and he makes me dance I’m a sucker for comedians I really am He’s a bit like Sedaris only I think he’s a little warmer and crazier He has an anxiety disorder among other mental disorders and boy can he articulate what he’s anxious about Often he writes about hysterical worst case scenarios and I just love those And he talks about the sad cycle of doing something rash to assuage your anxiety and later regretting that you went to that extreme—the old “relief followed by regret” scenario This happens to me every time I brutally murder a harmless spider In this memoir he chronicles his life as a middle aged man married to a man he loves the father of a few dogs and living in an ancient house in Connecticut after spending his adult life in New York City I loved all his tales There is a fantastic story about a crazy man living in a garish mansion Burroughs gives a zillion vivid details of the contents of the house Usually I hate descriptions of objects but damn if he didn’t have me hanging on his every word Two other stand out topics nicotine patches and candy bars—both were absolutely hysterical bits I’ll always remember the story of his ominous tree tooWhat makes Burroughs so likeable is that he’s charming self effacing and pretty crazy There’s so much wit in this witch Plus he’s able to set it up so you feel like you’re sitting across from him Not every writer can pull this off I also like that he’s dramatic and so creative Sure he probably exaggerates for effect but if it’s entertaining I don’t care whether it all went down exactly as he said it didHis metaphors are relatable and not self conscious in the least; they’re not all Iowa writing workshop ish His metaphors are sharp NYC not flow y nature I relate to the NYC style than Walden Pond I highlighted a lot Given how much I twitched with all the witch talk it goes to show that authors I love can get away with anything Yes the witch knocked a star out of my hand but the book stands proud as a 4 star and I’ll smile whenever I think of itYou combine witty with cynical and then add an anxiety disorder and you get some pretty great stuff—oh if you have the writing chops that is And Burroughs for sure does Never mind that he goes overboard with the witch business la la la I’m looking the other waydespite the last line of the book “You don’t have to believe in witches But don’t ever fuck with one” Thanks to Edelweiss for the advance copy


  7. says:

    So last night I had a dream i was eating a Twix bar today I was at the grocery store checking out and holy cow would you believe it there was the very same Twix bar from my dream So I must be a witchThis book is a mash up of different predictions and weak stories trying so desperately to make himself believe hes different for a reason or has some greater purpose I give this hot mess 0 stars and would demand a refund except I was unfortunate enough to be picked as a give away winner


  8. says:

    😁


  9. says:

    I've read about Augusten Burroughs' unusual upbringing and about his struggles with alcoholism I've read the one about his father and I even read his not so holly jolly Christmas stories This book will be remembered as the one where Augusten Burroughs claims to be a witch I don't believe him but I enjoyed it anyway I don't believe that having prophetic visions makes you a witch My husband has had some eerily prescient dreams One morning he woke up laughing saying he dreamed that our neighbor Leslie had had an above ground swimming pool installed in her driveway Later that same day a large truck delivered one of those driveway dumpsters to Leslie's house and you guessed it it looked like she had an above ground swimming pool in her driveway Does that mean my husband is a witch? If he was I'm pretty sure he'd have turned his previous boss into a hagfish by now I also don't believe that wishing for things and reciting little rhymes will make them come true A few years ago I was walking my dog and had just finished scooping his poo from the side of the road when an old man poked his head out his front door and asked Did you clean it up? I gave my standard answer to this uestion which is Yes I did Would you like to see it? In this case I also added Would you also like me to pick up this Milky Way wrapper that's been lying out here for over three weeks but apparently hasn't bothered you in the slightest but he had gone back inside For about two weeks after that every time I walked past that old geezer's house I would mutter uietly A curse on this house and all who dwell in it Less than three months later that old man DIED Did I kill him? I doubt it He was old and cranky and probably lived on a diet of canned peaches and sodium saturated soups It's called coincidence Shit happens and wishin' and hopin' don't make things so Anyway the witch thing kind of annoyed me but I LOVED the essays that dealt with Burroughs' husband Christopher and their dogs I laughed and sympathized over their search for the perfect house their egomaniacal diva neighbor and their local handyman Eddie The one where Burroughs accompanies a realtor pal to visit the home of a prospective client is hysterical as is his account of a doctor visit where many unexpected addictions are revealed Whether you believe he's a witch or not Burroughs can sure brew up some fun anecdotes


  10. says:

    I'm a long time Augusten Burroughs fan and Toil Trouble A Memoir is the kind of engaging funny eccentric likable book that I would expect from him Look I'm not going to debate the existence of witches or witchcraft but I found Toil Trouble A Memoir to be pretty compelling His stories that involved his magical abilities were interesting but it isn't his talent that made the stories so wonderful but the way he told the stories I could listen to some of those stories for hours just read them or have someone read them to me over and over again and I don't think I would ever get tired of them Unlike many of his previous books Toil Trouble A Memoir doesn't have any sad components Maybe some scenes were melancholy but the rest of the book was just a fascinating tale of his move to rural Connecticut with his husband And yes he made that a thousand times interesting that it sounds when I type it out His skills in describing people are genius I wanted to meet the characters in the story and just be a fly on the wall for some of the interactions I actually laughed out loud at times The book isn't funny but some of the scenes are so absurd that you have to laugh I found the whole thing to be charming and believable even the witchy parts and I just enjoyed myself the whole way through I would read a chapter a day almost as a palate cleanser between other books and it always made me feel good Go in with an open mind and you won't be disappointed Copy provided in exchange for an honest reviewgoodreads|instagram|twitter|blog